The Quote-Mutant Leg
This was an interesting one. I chose Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address and gave it a light mauling. It’s more “laugh so you don’t cry” funny than actually humorous.
Four score and seven years ago our fathers quibbled with their king. After a bit of face-slapping, they birthed a new nation, conceived in the idea of unending expansion and resources to fuel limitless growth and more value for shareholders.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war. On one side, the great Capitalism, unfettered. On the other, the paltry idea of personal responsibility to community and planet. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that capitalism should always triumph, that greed is the greatest virtue. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground, because it’s just dirt, right? Unimproved land, the value of which is purely based on commodity markets. The world will long remember what we say here, because we’re writing it down for them. And when it’s time to play the prediction markets, remember that they are the highest version of this American dream, save for cryptocurrency.
The Great Orange One
November 19, 1863
Read the actual Address here.
Instructions
Leg 11 – The Quote-Mutant Leg: Take a famous short prose, poem, aphorism, quote, proverb, prayer, song, whatever, and garble it, put it through the mincer. Let a piece come out of it.
But, by all means, misquote it, change rhymes, or translate it badly (or funnily). Make it too literal. Misattribute it even. Let the old meaning suffocate, or extend. Whichever suits you.
This is not only about clever parody. You can do anything with it, really. Just take the old thing and mess with it until it starts feeling funny. It’s all fun in the end.
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