207 words | Satire
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“Tonight on NOT JIMMY KIMMEL Live, we’ll sit down with the leader of the Eastern World, Vlad Putin, who’ll explain how he’s retained the Russian presidency for the last 40 years and how the US can do the same thing.”
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“How do you confuse a liberal?
You don’t. They’re born that way!”
[Audience laughs]
“Why is it good to have a liberal passenger in your car?
You can park in the handicap spots!”
[Audience laughs]
“What’s five miles long and has an IQ of 40?”
A parade of liberals!”
[Audience laughs]
“Folks, I’ve got a million of ‘em! Let’s keep going with—
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“With this verdict, the court overturned the previous ruling, and InfoWars is BACK, BABY! Alex Jones FOREVER!”
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“Well, you see, James, if you want to raise your kids Biblically, you can’t spare the rod. Kids need to fear you, just like they fear God. None of our kids would dream of—
What’s that? Oh, we have 10 and another one on the way.”
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“With the capture and killing of 40 violent Antifa radicals in Chicago, 250 in L.A., and over 100 in Portland, the administration is showing once again that it won’t allow the radical left to exist in—”
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